armoured | Open RP Post

[This is why he loves his brother dearly. Ed is always pushing him, always telling him that he can and not that he can't. It's that attitude that has kept them both moving, and that determination that has given Al strength on more occasions than he could possibly name.

He winds his arms around Ed's neck and slumps against his back, cheek nestled in slightly messy golden hair.]

Okay, I'm ready. You better not do this too often or I'll start to get used to you carrying me, then I'll get lazy.

[ if they hadn't constantly been looking forward, where would they end up? where would they have been if they didn't fight for what they needed? when Al's weight settles against his back, Ed is shocked at how light he is, how frail he feels and he carefully adjusts to lean forward, letting Gravity do much of the work as he scoops up Al's legs to his sides.

they'd done this as kids, tumbled over and laughed, but now it's so different. how many times had Al carried him when he was bleeding and broken? how many times had they shouldered weight beyond their strength? ]

Don't worry, I won't let you get too lazy. Can't have you getting fat, you know! [ he laughs and once he's sure he has a good grip on Al, carries him out of the room, toeing the door open and stepping through the hall. he's quick, but careful not to jostle his brother too much, especially when he has to turn a corner a little fast to avoid being seen by a passing nurse.

it isn't long, however, until Ed's nudging a glass door, opening it onto a small garden with benches and flowers and thick, green grass. the sun is warm today, and Ed, without hesitation, carries Al right out in it. ] Take a deep breath, Al. Can you feel it? Feel the sun? It's shining for you, you know.

[Ed doesn't need to tell Al to take a deep breath, he's gasping as soon as they hit the open air. He vaguely remembers how warm it was when he first got his body back, but that day had passed in a blur, and this feels much sharper and more real. The air hits his lungs almost painfully after the sterile atmosphere of the hospital, and the warmth prickles his skin even through the fabric of his hospital gown.]

Wow.

[It comes out as a murmur and Ed might feel the back of his head getting slightly damp from tears. Happy, ecstatic, amazed tears.]

I forgot the sun could feel this way, I forgot how warm it could be. ...Thank you, Brother.

[ he grips Al a little tighter, making certain his brother will not fall from his back. it is strange to think this is the first time he’s truly feeling the sun in such a long while. he holds fast, though, stepping out into the middle of the courtyard and slowly lowering to his knees, so as not to let Al down too hard.

he knows the boy likely can't support himself, and so Ed is diligent in his movements, bringing Al gently to the ground, so that he may feel even the grass under his palms. ]

See, Al? It's all going to be better from here. [ it has to be -- Ed will never let Al suffer another day, refuses to let any shadow cross his path while he can control it. he reaches to brush the tears away from his brother's face, grinning. ] Hey, careful now, you'll dehydrate yourself. [ but even Ed falls into an easy silence, his face upturned to the sun, his eyes closing. ]

We got too close to the sun, but we didn't melt. [ they made it back alive, body and limbs mostly in tact. ] So the rest is just child's play. [ a languid smile crosses his lips, and Ed flops back into the grass alongside his brother, much like they'd done for countless years before. ]

Mm.

[His legs tremble from just the small amount of weight he puts on them, but he's soon laid out on the grass next to his brother. The blades prickle and tickle his skin, and he loves every moment of it, he can almost believe they're out on the mountainsides of Resembool instead of a hospital courtyard.]

We've been moving for a long time, but we're finally here. You're right, whatever comes now is going to be easy compared to what we've been through, so... so you should relax too, you've earned it.

I'll relax when you're back on your own two strong feet, yeah?

[ he looks over to his brother, the sunlight only pointing out how frail he still is, how sick he is. how close he had been to losing him entirely. he would never leave Al's side when he was like this.

and relaxing meant putting his guard down, meant losing the vigilance he's had to shoulder for years now and it's just not as simple to shake off as it seems. ] Yeah, yeah, I'm perfectly relaxed. You don't know what you're talking about.

[ but he looks back up to the sky, the blue uncovered by passing clouds, and he knows what the world looks like beyond the walls of the hospital. he knows that central is well in ruins, that people have suffered. their work isn't done yet, not entirely, but they're taking small steps. ] Where do you want to go first, when you're better? Anywhere in the world, where would you go, Al?

[Al glances sidewards when Ed speaks, just watching the play of shadow and sun across his brother's face. He knows that the pain, the guilt, and the vigilance won't just go away overnight, but that's... that's okay. Ed has tried for such a long time to get Al his body back, that the least Al can do now is spend as long as it takes to heal Ed from his emotional scars.]

Hm.

[He screws up his nose in thought, though really there's only one place it could be.]

Home. I want to go home. I want to feel the breeze from the mountains, and stroke Den, and smell the automail oil from Winry's workshop.

[ he's trying to get better to hide those shadows from his face, to mask the strange heaviness in his chest, but it's a difficult thing to shake after so long. ]

Well, then we'll take you home. It'll be nice going back, won't it? No reason to leave, we can stay as long as we want.

[ but that thought leaves a strange restlessness stirring in his chest. his whole life, he's been running towards something, and even now he feels it nagging deep within him still. Al had his body back, but what now? what's next? he lets out a heavy sigh, one nearly that of an old man, weary and battle worn. ] Den will be so confused, don't you think? You'll definitely surprise him.

No way, he'll definitely recognise me, I just know it.

[Perhaps in the future he will feel that same wanderlust. But, right now, all he wants to do is go home and rest. They've been travelling for so long, and they've met so many wonderful people along the way, but he's tired in body and soul... he just wants his home for a while.]

I can't wait to stroke his fur again, I can't imagine how soft it must be. And I bet he'll like it more now that I have real hands again.

I don't know, what happens if he thinks we're both strangers, huh?

[ being home sounds wonderful. resting and enjoying the people they love, but something in Ed just does not feel satisfied yet. something deep within him yearns for more, and it terrifies him in many ways, to think that perhaps their journey for their bodies, Truth, and his loss of alchemy could have permanently changed him in some way. ]

It's pretty soft. He'll just love you, Al. Everyone will be so glad to see you again. [ even Ed can't help but turn his head and see the bright eyed boy, frail though determined, and be surprised it isn't some dream. he looks to his younger brother and smiles faintly. now he'd watch him grow healthy and tall and strong, and that would be the norm. ]

I can take you swimming, we can eat ice cream, help Granny cook again, remember? I'll make sure you get to do everything and more, Al, I promise. You'll see the whole world again through your own eyes, no matter what it takes.

[Al stays silent for a long few moments after Ed has finished his recitation of all the things that he will make sure Al gets to do. He feels so warm, and not just from the sun, but there's a twinge of bittersweet knowledge that this can't all last in the way Ed thinks it can.]

No, Brother.

[He tilts his head and looks into the mirror of strangely coloured golden eyes.]

I don't want you to live your life for me. You've already given up six years trying to help me get my body back, and now-- now we're both grown up with our whole lives ahead of us.

[He swallows. He isn't sure if this is coming out right at all.]

I want to do all that stuff, and more, and I want you to do it too... but for you, not for me. If you want to swim with me, then we can do that, but... if you'd rather go for a walk while I'm swimming, then you should. You're my big brother, Ed, and that won't ever change, so... I want you to live your life for you, okay?

[ when he hears Al speak, he looks up, blinking at him in surprise. no? did Al not want to do any of those things? but then there's Al, all big heart and concern, and Ed cannot help but smile.

living for himself? he never considered it, never once thought of it as anything other than what he was supposed to do, their quest to get their bodies back. certainly that was living for themselves. Ed wanted to see Al returned to his body, wanted his brother back, no matter how selfish, and here they are.

he goes quiet, however, as Al speaks, turning his eyes to the blue sky. would he even know what to do with himself? what could the world hold for him after the past six years? what more was left? ]

I didn't give anything up, Al. I spent six years traveling with you, working toward a goal, meeting amazing people, doing amazing things. There were terrible times, too, but I think that's what is extraordinary about life, what makes it so unique. I see that now, and I didn't before.

[ he shrugs, closing his eyes and turning his face to the sun. ] I've spent years wondering if we'd ever have normal lives, ever get to return to the world as just the Elric brothers, nothing more, and here we are. There you are, your body back and I have my arm back at least and --

[ he opens his eyes, pausing. he sits up slowly, his braid falling out completely, golden hair falling across his back. ] Maybe one day I'll be able to do what you said -- be able to wake up and not feel like there's something still out there waiting for me to find it, but for now, this is what I want. I want to swim, cook, sleep all day, laugh. I want to spend time with you -- no more fighting or danger or war. That's what I want my life to be, Al, for now. Just for now.

[ he lets out a breath, hand absently massaging his leg where flesh meets metal. it hurts more, these days. ] That's enough for me.

[Al stays looking at Ed even when his brother has turned his face up to the sun, just watching the play of emotions across his face. A lot of people thought that Ed was the course one, rough and angry, but Al knew differently. Ed just wore his emotions close to the surface, he got wounded so easily and he hated to see anyone in pain, that's why he always reacted so strongly.

Now, even when the emotions were a little more muted, Al could still read them clearly. The hurts of years haven't been healed overnight, and maybe they'll always leave scars, but there is hope for happiness in the future.]

Mm.

[He hums. His lips turn up in a smile and his fingers splay out until the tip of his pinky finger is brushing Ed's in a tiny gesture of solidarity.]

Then I guess I better hurry up and get out of the hospital. The sun won't last forever to warm the river for swimming in, and we've got a long road to go before we're home. But we will get there, and we'll do it together.

[In the future, the real and distant future, Al still wants Ed to pursue his own dreams. But his brother is right. They've finally achieved their victory, perhaps to relax and be together in the now is enough. More than enough.]

Ha, yeah you better hurry and catch up, Al. Wouldn't want to enjoy all of it without you.

[ there's a teasing note to his tone, even as his own fingers uncurl and wrap around Al's, squeezing gently. ]

Don't you worry about me, okay, brother?

[ he smiles again, and though the residual emotions are still there under the surface, he's able to look through them if only for his brother's joy. ] C'mon, we better get you inside before they come looking, okay? [ he laughs easily, pushing himself up and stretching arms high over his head. they had all the time in the world now, didn't they?

it's terrifying and exciting all at once. ]

I don't want to get banned from this place so soon. That'd be in poor taste.

[ he grins impishly before he carefully crouches and lifts his brother, this time cradling him carefully to his chest. how many times had Al carried him like this? ] You'd look pretty ridiculous sunburned, anyway.

I think I'd like to be sunburned.

[He doesn't resist being picked up. He knows that his legs aren't ready to support him properly yet, and he has no shame about being carried by his older brother. He knows that he has done the same for Ed countless times, it's sort of nice to even be small enough now to have it done in reverse.

He chuckles, the sound reverberating through is whole body and making him tremble in Ed's arms a little.]

Well... maybe just once. A little bit.

No, Al, you wouldn't. It hurts and peels and trust me, there is no "little" sunburn.

[ how many times in their travels did Ed get burned himself? after all, Al had been in a metal suit, and could not face the effects of the sun, but now? ]

Besides, we should probably wait until you're a little bit stronger before we start testing out that, huh?

[ he carries him back to the room, settling him carefully into the bed. the chuckle is a nice sound, makes Ed's chest fill with warmth. ] I'll take you out there again tomorrow, okay? Our secret. [ a grin. ]

[He remembers all the times Ed has moaned about the sun, they're both so pale-skinned that it's no wonder Ed has ended up looking lobster-esque on more than one occasion.

He's so lost in memories and, truthfully, half shifting from memories into dreams, that he doesn't notice they're back until he's being laid back down on the bed. He tilts slightly glazed gold eyes to look at their mirror, smiling contentedly.]

Thanks, Brother.

[He can't say much more than that before he's out like a light, but hopefully Ed can hear the emotion behind those two simple words and know what today has meant to him.]

[ the days pass relatively easily, and Ed keeps to his promise, taking Al out whenever the doctors aren't looking, letting him lay in the grass and sun. he can't deny his brother the feeling of being human again. even Ed himself things he will never underestimate the simple privileges that his sense grant him.

they've been moved to a bigger room, since the staff have accepted the fact that Al may well be a little mobile on his own now, and that Ed is not leaving his side anytime soon. when he'd thought that Al might be asleep, he sat on the floor with chalk, using it to draw transmutation circles. some are complex, some are incredibly simple -- all of his knowledge still there.

he tries each and every one, even though he knows they won't work. he's nearly covered the floor without realizing it, feeling a strange sense of desperation fill his chest the more and more he tries to perform alchemy. he gave it up, and he does not regret it, wouldn't change his mind if he had to do it again. it would always be Al, but as the days go on, as he wakes late with nightmares of transmutations and a myriad of other things, he can't help but feel that something is inherently missing. that somehow, he's missing a limb or part of himself he can't see.

he tries yet another circle, clapping his hands together before engaging it, but it remains a simple chalk drawing on the floor. he lets out a frustrated growl, a sort of darkness across his face. ]

[Al has been getting stronger each day.

At first it felt like he was making no progress at all, faced with endless days in bed and too weak to even lift himself properly. But he determined that he wouldn't fret about it, he wouldn't complain, not when he finally had what he wanted so dearly. So he tried to be happy, not that it was difficult, and let things happen in their own time.

Now that his patience was finally beginning to pay off, Al was enjoying pushing his limits and exploring his new capabilities. He wasn't sleeping as much, he was eating more, and he had even taken steps under his own power.

It was a sharp clap that woke him early that morning. A clap he recognised instantly, and would always recognise all his life long. He waited for the sing of transmutation, though deep inside he knew it wouldn't come. He just angled his head to look across at Ed, the darkness on his face going straight to his heart.

He didn't speak, just watched and waited in guilty silence.]

[ he's not even certain why he tried this to begin with. he knows what he gave up to get Al's body back, he knows what sacrifices they made, but it was worth it. he wouldn't change it if he was given the chance to.

but he woke with a need to try, to see if there was anything left after Truth took his payment, let him walk back into the light with Al's body. he'd never thought losing something so invisible, so simple, could leave him with a strange hollow feeling.

maybe he wasn't a suit of armour, but something still left him feeling unsettled. ]

Damn it. [ he slams his fist down against one of them, only to hiss when he feels the zing of pain across his knuckles in his new hand. he doesn't hear or see Al awake at first, doesn't even think to check before he bends to begin to try and wipe the circles away, fingers trembling, cheeks flushed in anger and confusion.

it's only when he turns to grab a wash cloth does he see those two golden eyes watching him in the silence, that he frowns momentarily. ] Hey, Al, you're awake. [ he forces a tiny smile, trying to laugh away the chalk that covers the floor and even some walls. ] Sorry if I woke you, buddy.

[He sits up before he replies, giving him the chance to formulate the right words. Not that he has any idea what the right words are.

His chest hurts. It feels like there are thick bands of iron constricting his lungs, making him feel guilty as all hell. It was for his body that Ed made this sacrifice, and he's just now seeing the full impact of what his brother has lost.]

It doesn't work at all, huh?

[That isn't what he meant to say, but it's what comes out anyway. Low and soft and sad.]

[ he's not sure what he expected, but it isn't that. he freezes when Al speaks, feeling the pain of his brother's words straight to his core. he's mad at himself almost immediately, for allowing himself to fall into trying alchemy again, for not stopping when it didn't work the first time around. ]

No. [ he shrugs a little, trying to steady his breath, to tamp down the rising anxiety in his chest. Al lost so much more, and is still trying to gain it all back, he doesn't need this, too. Ed has strong arms and legs, has a healthy body, he has the world at his feet. then there's Al, still trying to recover because of what he's done, because his body is still failing him even now. ]

It's fine, I knew it was going to happen. But hey, just means I'll have to be more creative now, huh? [ he steps up to his brother, smiling despite himself, even if it doesn't reach his eyes completely. ] You hungry? I'll get them to bring some food, okay, Al?

No.

[The word is soft, but spoken like a firm command. Even though this is painful for the both of them, he's not going to let Ed just sweep it away under the carpet like that. They've never hidden their pain from one another, no matter who else might be denied a glimpse, and he's not going to let them start now.]

I'm not hungry, so sit down. This-- we have to talk about it, Ed, everything has changed now. You're not--- you can't be a State Alchemist any more, you can't even do simple transmutations, we can't just pretend that's nothing.

[ he's not sure how to articulate what he's feeling into words. he isn't sure he can talk about what the future looks like for him now, not yet, but his brother, stalwart and true, is going to make him. so, like he is ordered, he takes a seat in the chair beside the bed, the one he spends most of his time in these days. ]

No, I'm not a State Alchemist anymore. Not an alchemist at all, Al, and it's fine. It's just -- different. I've had it most of my life, and it's just strange to think about getting on the world without it. But it was worth it, okay? I'd do it again, I'd do it a thousand times if it gave you your body back.

[ he grips the fabric of his trousers, his knuckles white with tension. ] I guess I don't really need it anymore, either. I don't have to fight anymore, Al.

You're wrong, Brother. I said you weren't a State Alchemist, I never said you weren't an alchemist, you've got that all wrong.

[He spreads his fingers, looking down at them as if wondering when he'll be strong enough to transmute again.]

You might not be able to perform transmutations any more, but you're still one of the best alchemists I know. You don't need to use alchemy to research its uses, or theorise about what different transmutation circles will do... you can still be an alchemist in the future, Ed. You can help me find new things to do, other ways to use alchemy than fighting.

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